Simon Cabaret Phuket has been a successful show for more than two decades. There should be no need to tell you what makes it so famous: it’s not the stage design or the feathers or glittering costumes; it’s not the performance, which is pretty good. No, it is all about the ladyboys phenomenon, and Phuket Simon Cabaret certainly can afford the prettiest ones. So yes, you should add it to your list of things to do in Phuket. It’s worth it.
Located just outside Patong Beach on the way to Karon, Simon Cabaret Phuket’s vast theatre can accommodate a large number of spectators. Seating is comfortable, like in a movie theatre, but free drinks provided with the entry price are often stale.
The theatre and its stage are impressive. When Simon Cabaret opened, Patong was still a small village, and this big ladyboy show felt like a shiny pimple. The show starts a bit too grand, the way they like it here, but once the first performer enters the stage with these flamboyant costumes, you soon forget the kitsch narrative voice.
Not all dancers at Phuket Simon Cabaret are Ladyboys. They still need men for the couple’s choreography, but the guys don’t get much attention from visitors. Ladyboys steal the whole show. They have all the features of women: tall, slim, pretty, and in great body proportions. Add elaborate makeup and a good deal of well-practised facial expressions, and you will fall for it.
The Show
The show consists of two performances using the entire stage, followed by a small act in front of the curtain, allowing the crew to change the background. All the singing is, of course, lip-synced. If you get a seat in the middle of the first row, you might think you are the lucky ones, but wait until the big fat transvestite doing the funny part of the show starts rubbing your face between her fake boobs, probably rewarding you with a big red-lipsticked kiss on the forehead.
Simon Cabaret Phuket is a fun show; most people try to spot any masculinity signs on the dancers or guess if they would be fooled if they were to meet one of them in the street. (if you are worried about this, read ‘10 Ways to Spot a Ladyboy“).
